I'm a bitch

Hormones are really effing with me. Among the things that I notice and yet have no control over:

1. Despite almost three years now of public speaking experience, since getting pregnant I shake like a leaf when I talk in front of people. I had so gotten over that.

2. I'm airheaded as anything. I left milk out last night, and twice in the past 24 hours have left the refrigerator door sitting wide open while doing other things in the kitchen. However, I notice anything OTHER people do wrong, and have no brain filter over whether to address that with the person or not. For instance, not sure whether it was Dean or Lil'D who kept leaving the back door open yesterday, but the number of flies in the house today show that my obsessing over it was for a reason.

3. I'm much more prone to anger and upsetness and other short-temperedness, and it's really bringing out the passive-aggressive in me as well as the "say things you can't unsay" thing, something I was notorious for while on depo and to a lesser extent while on the pill.

4. I'm also more prone to taking things personally that ordinarily are things I just write off. This is having a profound effect on my relationship with my sister-in-law, whom I'm dreading seeing today if I go to this thing with the in-laws. It's also affecting my ability to deal with Dean's constant flake factor. But then, I'm sure he's tapping his foot waiting for me to start nesting so I clean up this frackin' mess I don't have the energy to deal with.

5. Every day that I think I start feeling better, something happens the next day to show that I'm still a frackin' wreck. For the past two days, it's been four-hour afternoon naps I've been powerless to avoid. How the hell am I supposed to get anything done??!