I don't get asked that question all the time anymore, largely due to a constant stream of invective-filled PSAs directed at those who ask me, but I've been asked twice this week and find that it still rankles, but for a different reason. I don't want to tell anyone, really, how I'm feeling, for two reasons. First, you don't REALLY want to hear about how much my rib cage hurts, how much the hip pain slows me down, how tired I really am, and how much I wish the baby would quit exploring every crevice of my abdomen while trying to figure out what limb he can stuff into each of them.
Second, if I do share that with you, I don't really want your advice on how to make it go away. It's not that I don't appreciate your caring; it's that on the whole I'm not good at taking advice (my midwife put it as "you're strong-willed"--in a good way) and that, coupled with my pregnancy moodiness, makes for a sour reception. (Same thing that causes me to sprain an emotional socket when I'm told not to change the litterbox.)
So it's been fun to have this blog where I can retreat and complain to my heart's content and not feel like I'm going to be jumped on. At times I wish I'd kept it totally anonymous, but I've learned from experience that it's just impossible for me to pretend I have some other name. Perhaps a bit ironic, given how much I hated my first name as a kid.
Which brings me to names. I think we've come up with a name for the little one. Still not entirely positive, though, but we will go into the delivery room prepared.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Week 32: The exquisite ache
Dean keeps bees, right? Well, a couple of weekends ago they totally nailed him by diving into the pockets of his beekeeping suit and stinging the hell out of his hips. He calls the itch of a bee sting "the exquisite itch," and he had it in spades the entire weekend we were in Philadelphia.
Well, today, I took a tumble out in the yard and landed on my right hip, the one that's been giving me trouble the entire pregnancy. I know it's relaxin related; the same thing that allows the women in my family to have relatively easy labors is definitely not conducive to walking. Now I can barely walk, but the pain isn't one of injury. It's just an ache that activates whenever I move it. Not sharp, not agonizing, just enough to slow me down considerably and make it look like I'm suffering horribly. Near as I can figure things just aren't lined up right. I actually went to see my chiropractor about this earlier on in my pregnancy, and he adjusted me then--I felt better for about a day and then the ache was back.
Well, now it's worse, but I just want to keep taking it easy and running things slow. But it's not just my hip, honestly. I still have a lot of rib pain, and that's been accompanied this week by pain around my belly button (site of another scar from that surgery in 2005), and a general sense of weirdness regarding my abdominal muscles, which are now clearly separated and cause my belly to form a point when I sit up using my abs.
It's frustrating, because even when I have energy I'm too sore to do anything. I'm really glad we are spending the first few months with the baby in our room, because the nursery has become a parking lot for baby gifts but I don't have any furniture to put said gifts away into.
While I'd love the baby to come a bit early and be an October baby like me, at this point I'm hoping he comes right on time, because I'm aiming to go on leave Nov. 2, and really need that week to get ready.
Had a midwife appointment this week and we talked a bit about the soreness. She prescribed a hot soak in a bath, but I have a confession to make: I'm terrified of baths, and have been since my first pregnancy when I had no option to shower. There were several times I could not get out of the tub, and I became terrified of falling in the tub. It occurs to me, very belatedly, that I could do some tweaks on our bathtub that would make it easier for me to get in and out of it, but... there is still a psychological issue there that I'm downright phobic about baths. It makes me wonder: is that why I have absolutely zero desire to do a water birth?
Aside from that, everything is still looking great. Baby seems incredibly active and healthy, and I'm gearing up for my last six weeks of work. Hard to believe it's come to that already!
Well, today, I took a tumble out in the yard and landed on my right hip, the one that's been giving me trouble the entire pregnancy. I know it's relaxin related; the same thing that allows the women in my family to have relatively easy labors is definitely not conducive to walking. Now I can barely walk, but the pain isn't one of injury. It's just an ache that activates whenever I move it. Not sharp, not agonizing, just enough to slow me down considerably and make it look like I'm suffering horribly. Near as I can figure things just aren't lined up right. I actually went to see my chiropractor about this earlier on in my pregnancy, and he adjusted me then--I felt better for about a day and then the ache was back.
Well, now it's worse, but I just want to keep taking it easy and running things slow. But it's not just my hip, honestly. I still have a lot of rib pain, and that's been accompanied this week by pain around my belly button (site of another scar from that surgery in 2005), and a general sense of weirdness regarding my abdominal muscles, which are now clearly separated and cause my belly to form a point when I sit up using my abs.
It's frustrating, because even when I have energy I'm too sore to do anything. I'm really glad we are spending the first few months with the baby in our room, because the nursery has become a parking lot for baby gifts but I don't have any furniture to put said gifts away into.
While I'd love the baby to come a bit early and be an October baby like me, at this point I'm hoping he comes right on time, because I'm aiming to go on leave Nov. 2, and really need that week to get ready.
Had a midwife appointment this week and we talked a bit about the soreness. She prescribed a hot soak in a bath, but I have a confession to make: I'm terrified of baths, and have been since my first pregnancy when I had no option to shower. There were several times I could not get out of the tub, and I became terrified of falling in the tub. It occurs to me, very belatedly, that I could do some tweaks on our bathtub that would make it easier for me to get in and out of it, but... there is still a psychological issue there that I'm downright phobic about baths. It makes me wonder: is that why I have absolutely zero desire to do a water birth?
Aside from that, everything is still looking great. Baby seems incredibly active and healthy, and I'm gearing up for my last six weeks of work. Hard to believe it's come to that already!
Listeria hysteria, and other lectures I could do without
This week or so, I conducted something of an experiment, much to my indoor cat's dismay. I wanted to see if I could get anyone in this house to change her litter box, but I took a somewhat passive approach, other than telling my husband that it was getting harder for me to change it.
Thing is, I'm not scared of the litter box despite the toxoplasmosis hype. The statistical prevalence of congenital toxoplasmosis is low, I've lived with cats and their litter boxes for nearly 40 years, my outdoor cats (who are more at risk for acquiring a parasite) never use the indoor litterboxes, and ... get this! I use gloves when I clean the box and wash my hands thoroughly with soap and water afterward.
But you wouldn't believe the shock and horror people react with when they find out that I've been cleaning Nina's litterbox throughout my pregnancy. Or, for that matter, when they find out I don't studiously avoid brie cheese, which I love. (Read the label, folks: most Brie in grocery stores is pasteurized.) And then there's my Philadelphia side that absolutely loves a good hoagie. OMG LUNCH MEAT! But again, look at the statistical prevalence of listeria infection. Both toxoplasmosis and listeria can be caught just by packing hamburger patties or other raw meat handling. But I have this nifty weapon I use meticulously: Soap and Water.
But more than anything, I feel an inner resentment when people lecture me about the litterbox--and it's something I've blogged about before, although I'm not inclined to dig up the links right now. Because unless you're going to foster my cat for the rest of my pregnancy (and at this point, it's moot) or come do my litterbox housekeeping for me, there's really just no point. During the part of my pregnancy where toxoplasmosis could have done the most damage, I was living, for the most part, alone.
Good thing they make gloves and soap, right? Oh, and I used a face mask too!
Grumble.
Thing is, I'm not scared of the litter box despite the toxoplasmosis hype. The statistical prevalence of congenital toxoplasmosis is low, I've lived with cats and their litter boxes for nearly 40 years, my outdoor cats (who are more at risk for acquiring a parasite) never use the indoor litterboxes, and ... get this! I use gloves when I clean the box and wash my hands thoroughly with soap and water afterward.
But you wouldn't believe the shock and horror people react with when they find out that I've been cleaning Nina's litterbox throughout my pregnancy. Or, for that matter, when they find out I don't studiously avoid brie cheese, which I love. (Read the label, folks: most Brie in grocery stores is pasteurized.) And then there's my Philadelphia side that absolutely loves a good hoagie. OMG LUNCH MEAT! But again, look at the statistical prevalence of listeria infection. Both toxoplasmosis and listeria can be caught just by packing hamburger patties or other raw meat handling. But I have this nifty weapon I use meticulously: Soap and Water.
But more than anything, I feel an inner resentment when people lecture me about the litterbox--and it's something I've blogged about before, although I'm not inclined to dig up the links right now. Because unless you're going to foster my cat for the rest of my pregnancy (and at this point, it's moot) or come do my litterbox housekeeping for me, there's really just no point. During the part of my pregnancy where toxoplasmosis could have done the most damage, I was living, for the most part, alone.
Good thing they make gloves and soap, right? Oh, and I used a face mask too!
Grumble.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Week 31: Baby, Get Out of My Ribs
...And into my pelvis.
I was in Washington D.C. last week for an event involving Government 2.0. Great conference. In the middle of one of the days there was a press conference--well, more like a press-only panel chock full of information that went above and beyond the conference topics. Being press, I showed up, and quietly found a seat in the back corner. But it was right at that moment that the baby had one of its moshpit moments atop my bladder, so I made a dash (as much as I can dash right now) for the ladies' room, up one flight.
I was worried that I'd miss the start of the panel, and sure enough, I did. So I slipped back to my seat as quietly and unobtrusively as someone 7+ months pregnant can in a crowded room, and reached down to my rolling briefcase to retrieve my laptop. I had to twist slightly to do this, and when I did, I felt a searing pain at the lower edge of my rib cage, right-hand side, right around the place that I used to have a gallbladder until its untimely demise in 2005.
It was all I could do to not scream out with that pain, but the look on my face was every bit as loud, drawing the attention of several nearby people as I clutched that narrow area between tummy and breast. I'm sure several of them must have thought I had just hit hard labor at that exact moment, but knowing labor pains as I do I know they don't start out like this and involve the whole uterus, not just the upper-right part of it. Fortunately, I was able to settle into the press conference and continue without any other problems, but the acute pain faded only into a soreness that continues to persist this week.
Believing I'd torn an adhesion from the gallbladder surgery, I called the midwife's office to see if I should be checked. They told me to call my primary care physician, so I did, again asking if I should be checked. They told me to call my OB office. Frustrated, I cut the loop off there and decided if it got worse I'd just go to the ER. It didn't.
But over the weekend, I had the pain again while putting groceries away. Same motion--just a hint of a lateral twist, and this time I did let loose with a stream of curses and cries of pain that set my husband running to my side. He made me stop, of course, and set me down on the couch while he finished the grocery-stowing. Then, later, he was massaging the area and we realized that one of my lower right ribs was actually a bit swollen.
I measured my fundal height and got the astonishing result of 40 cm. (It's settled back to a more sane 33 cm as of last night.) I swear this kid is determined to stand up in utero! And it feels like he has gone through every possible fetal position in the past week or two, including moments where he's lying transverse and his head is practically protruding out my right side. I'm convinced the placenta is on the left wall, because that is the one place I can't feel him at all, ever.
Fortunately his favorite position seems to be head-down. I'm learning the which-bump-is-which ropes pretty well, and the one thing that's consistent is that when his head is present, it's got a distinct hardness rivalled only by his back. One is round, the other is relatively flat. Limbs, on the other hand, are small enough that they are surrounded by softness.
But every now and then I can feel some part or another of him reaching up to that rib again. Argh! Baby, get out of my ribs!!
I was in Washington D.C. last week for an event involving Government 2.0. Great conference. In the middle of one of the days there was a press conference--well, more like a press-only panel chock full of information that went above and beyond the conference topics. Being press, I showed up, and quietly found a seat in the back corner. But it was right at that moment that the baby had one of its moshpit moments atop my bladder, so I made a dash (as much as I can dash right now) for the ladies' room, up one flight.
I was worried that I'd miss the start of the panel, and sure enough, I did. So I slipped back to my seat as quietly and unobtrusively as someone 7+ months pregnant can in a crowded room, and reached down to my rolling briefcase to retrieve my laptop. I had to twist slightly to do this, and when I did, I felt a searing pain at the lower edge of my rib cage, right-hand side, right around the place that I used to have a gallbladder until its untimely demise in 2005.
It was all I could do to not scream out with that pain, but the look on my face was every bit as loud, drawing the attention of several nearby people as I clutched that narrow area between tummy and breast. I'm sure several of them must have thought I had just hit hard labor at that exact moment, but knowing labor pains as I do I know they don't start out like this and involve the whole uterus, not just the upper-right part of it. Fortunately, I was able to settle into the press conference and continue without any other problems, but the acute pain faded only into a soreness that continues to persist this week.
Believing I'd torn an adhesion from the gallbladder surgery, I called the midwife's office to see if I should be checked. They told me to call my primary care physician, so I did, again asking if I should be checked. They told me to call my OB office. Frustrated, I cut the loop off there and decided if it got worse I'd just go to the ER. It didn't.
But over the weekend, I had the pain again while putting groceries away. Same motion--just a hint of a lateral twist, and this time I did let loose with a stream of curses and cries of pain that set my husband running to my side. He made me stop, of course, and set me down on the couch while he finished the grocery-stowing. Then, later, he was massaging the area and we realized that one of my lower right ribs was actually a bit swollen.
I measured my fundal height and got the astonishing result of 40 cm. (It's settled back to a more sane 33 cm as of last night.) I swear this kid is determined to stand up in utero! And it feels like he has gone through every possible fetal position in the past week or two, including moments where he's lying transverse and his head is practically protruding out my right side. I'm convinced the placenta is on the left wall, because that is the one place I can't feel him at all, ever.
Fortunately his favorite position seems to be head-down. I'm learning the which-bump-is-which ropes pretty well, and the one thing that's consistent is that when his head is present, it's got a distinct hardness rivalled only by his back. One is round, the other is relatively flat. Limbs, on the other hand, are small enough that they are surrounded by softness.
But every now and then I can feel some part or another of him reaching up to that rib again. Argh! Baby, get out of my ribs!!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Week 30: The First Shower
This is belated, I admit it. Didn't have time to blog last weekend because I was in Philly--getting showered by friends from up that way from when I lived there between 1999 and 2004. They are my favorite friends in the world, and even though most of them don't have kids themselves, they still know how to throw one hell of a party, even without alcohol!
But the result of the shower is that I have more clothes than I know what to do with, and I'll probably have to find a way to exchange some of the newborn outfits (that fit up to 8 lbs and no one in my family has ever had a baby under 9 lbs), but what is most magnificent is the collection of hand-painted Onesies that Jenn provided the tools to make.
And here's a funny one of me. I'm actually trying to hide behind the presents because I'm suddenly huge, but instead it looks like I'm ready to nom the whole table of goodies.
The food was amazing, and the trip to Philadelphia was incredibly relaxing, although I'm rapidly finding that spending too much time in a car is uncomfortable, even more so in the back seat. I came back home and was in the office for one day before heading out to a conference in Washington D.C, which is about 75 miles from my house. The nice thing about this was that Dean and I got to carpool. The not-so-nice thing about this is that it absolutely wore me out, and here I am a week later still trying to recover.
But more on that in my week 31 post, and then I need to think about a week 32 post, because that's where I suddenly find myself! OMG, where does time go?
But the result of the shower is that I have more clothes than I know what to do with, and I'll probably have to find a way to exchange some of the newborn outfits (that fit up to 8 lbs and no one in my family has ever had a baby under 9 lbs), but what is most magnificent is the collection of hand-painted Onesies that Jenn provided the tools to make.
And here's a funny one of me. I'm actually trying to hide behind the presents because I'm suddenly huge, but instead it looks like I'm ready to nom the whole table of goodies.
The food was amazing, and the trip to Philadelphia was incredibly relaxing, although I'm rapidly finding that spending too much time in a car is uncomfortable, even more so in the back seat. I came back home and was in the office for one day before heading out to a conference in Washington D.C, which is about 75 miles from my house. The nice thing about this was that Dean and I got to carpool. The not-so-nice thing about this is that it absolutely wore me out, and here I am a week later still trying to recover.
But more on that in my week 31 post, and then I need to think about a week 32 post, because that's where I suddenly find myself! OMG, where does time go?
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