A Pretty Baby, Maybe?

I posted that image over at helcat because I distinctly remember someone saying, about that picture, that we'd have beautiful babies. Our eyes are the only thing that match, but it's such a unique shade of hazel-green that if we manage to pass it along, or some other exotic variation of hazel, I will feel accomplished in having blessed a child with beautiful eyes. Kieran's are hazel-brown, a brown flecked with gold; they're pretty but they aren't the amber color that some hazel-brown fellows have--those tend to be on guys with darker skin, and ooh shiver when it happens. Yes, I hate eye stuff, but I'm fascinated with eye color. My brother has a lot more blue in his hazel than I do, and so his are more likely to look blue than mine are. But my mother has blue eyes, and my father shares my green. What color eyes will Bunky have, I wonder, I wonder?

That is the kind of thing that helps mute the cynicism and anxiety. Curiosity about the passenger. I don't have enough metaphysical in me to think "this person wanted to belong to us," as some people have said in trying to help me come to grips with the unexpected pregnancy, although that may be a function of "if that's the case, why did I wind up my parents' daughter?" But there is a low-level excitement about meeting Helcat and MeanDean: the next generation.

Dean told me today that he's starting to struggle with not telling people. But it just will be nice when we can tell people and smile about it.

Anyhow.. another lazy Saturday. I fell asleep around 6 and woke up around 9:30, and now I am fighting evening nausea again. I want so much to eat something but have no appetite. But the BLTs on fresh-baked bread and fries I made by cutting up potatoes, tossing them in oil and baking them for 45 minutes sure hit the spot at lunchtime.

Dean's been installing split rail fences in the backyard on which to tether actual grapes. I'm really excited about this. He's also taking up beekeeping. Now if I could just avoid killing our basil (2d gen), tomato (3rd gen) and marigold seedlings I'd be in good shape.